being left

there it is. again.

the big black hole. i knew i've covered it up with some pile of smile, and filled it with some lump of stories from my two months off from college. it appears that the hole is just to big, as i thought. after all this time... i just looked away from it.

de. ni. al.

i thought i've made peace. but the fact is that it's just like the disorder or abnormality or something whatsoever disease that i brought since i was a child. it won't go away. it just strikes me whenever it strikes me.

i don't know if i could ever stand this. imagining that i was being left behind by every bit of friend that i've known in college. they're now on the 7th stage of architecture studio. me? i am being left behind because of my own foolishness. well i'm not going to defend myself from any of it. i don't have to. i can't be the one being right. i'm the one being left. lol.