remember the worst, cherish the best

I have not been myself lately, and also becoming a nuisance girlfriend. I need strength to love, I feel so weak...

So many bad experiences happen lately, and I can do nothing. I just need to focus on how I feel when I got into this relationship with him. I have to (and will always want to) remember how careless he can be, how clumsy he can be, how so-far-from-romantic he can be, but please do help God, I just need to cherish the feeling when I got into this relationship with him... :)

aquarius sign

In some religion or beliefs, believing astrology is forbidden. But, all people must have experience some point where they feel the need to know who they are and understand what they meant in this world. Since not all these processes goes smoothly, people tend to search things that related to them and retrieve some information about it to help recognise themselves.

Well, that goes well for me though. In the beginning, I was just plain fascinated (it was the era of Internet Explorer, I recall) by how people can be classified through their birth month and how it determined their fate and personality. Now that I just recently found a fiction novel that tells (short) stories about people with certain zodiac, it made me realise that maybe it does helps us read people.

I was also in the middle of sorrow with my mental and personality bizarreness, so I checked my zodiac on the internet. I am the water bearer.

The water bearer carries source of life and happiness for people. That's why we tend to do our best to help everyone on our way and always make sure that we are needed in some place. But like the water itself, we tend to search for adventure. We. Travel. There is no one point of place or person that can hold us still, for water cannot be held and if you try they would just slip away. But a water bearer also experience lack of 'water' and needed to refill his/her vessel. That is why we (at least, I) always need a place or someone to come back to. We would be thrilled to have as many friends as possible, and desired to be as close as possible with family and partner. I also, ehem, like to have close-but-no-strings-attached relationships.

For detailed information on Aquarius zodiac, check these links:

http://www.psychicguild.com/horoscopes_zodiac.php?sign=Aquarius

or

http://www.astrology.com/aquarius-sun-sign-zodiac-signs/2-d-d-66917

Reading this also made me realise something. At first, I thought Aquarius is water and so does many other people, but Aquarius is actually the water bearer. It hits me that I always tend to be misunderstood. I also triggers other people's hatred and wrath when the only thing I want to do is something good, well at least according to me. Aquarius is humanitarian but can be stubborn, that's why. Aquarian also have their own pace. This explains why I always wanted to do something more than other people does, or can do more that other people can; but also sometimes, refuses to do some stuff other people like to do.

Well, from all of it, the one thing I am coming to understand is the purpose of the Water Bearer. They may bring happiness to other people (they care about), but won't get anything in return (they won't even expect to!). People who receives that probably won't think that Aquarians aren;t feeling anything (read: lonely, tired, needed love), and that's fine, we can cope to any kind of environments.

But hey, I'm a girl, I get tired sometimes and wanted to be special, at least for just one person, which I care about... :(